Bang the Doldrums

Indeed. Well the end of the second week has come (and gone, i know late entry, i work fridays, saturdays and sundays gah!). I didn't feel so great about the second week. I've set up all but 3 complicated camera shots in my animation which i will be attempting to complete Monday. I also think i will try to at least begin my sound on Monday with a mind to finish it by the end of the week.

It seems kind of strange the way things come back to bite you in the back. I started this course because i didn't really know what i wanted to do. I knew i loved drawing and writing, i drew a lot of comics in high school, i knew i loved dancing and motion. It seemed like animation incorporated a lot of what i enjoyed and a lot of what i had a bit of talent for and thought if i worked at it maybe i could make this into the kind of job i could be happy doing. I wanted a career, i wanted to be in something different. It's only really now at the end of the third year when shersha and mathew are talking about marketing plans and schemes and what festivals where going to try and get into and what we want to do with our animations that i realise i have no idea.

Ryan has this brilliant vision for whats lacking in the animation world and Mike wants to use his final piece as a platform to try and get a show of his own going but i've got nothing. Blank. Zippo. I mean yeah i'd like my stuff shown at festivals and yeah it'd be nice to win but...marketing schemes...toys merchandise? How we will market ourselves. To market oneself you need to know what your selling. At closest guess i'd say i just want to be an animator. I'm not particularly good at modelling or rigging but i'd like to think with some practise i could be a good character animator.

So yeah i'm freaking out a bit about that. Suppose i should have known i couldn't just go on my merry way working on projects and ignoring the grand scheme of things. I'd kind of forgotten.

So i have no idea how to market myself. So shershas stuff, her scheme that some people have used to get their foot in the door i have no clue how to begin. I'm nervous that i haven't started really animating yet, i'm not happy that kavinda hasn't come back from india yet with my set and i'm nervous that even when he does get back he may not have even done it yet.

Like i said, one week to another, one freak out to the next, this whole last semester i sadly feel is going to be touch and go. This is not what i wanted for my last year. For my last semester.

And yeah i know, the mistakes are all on me.